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August 20, 2005
Question: I have been seeing a man for 3 months. We have been inseparable throughout that time. This weekend however he has not contacted me and we were supposed to be going out. I was supposed to be meeting his parents this weekend. I have not heard from him at all. I am very angry with him and I know he is at a car race where we were supposed to be going.
ANSWER: This should wiggle your anger chords. Or maybe goose up your worry warts. He’s either too neglectful or something awful happened. Let us hope he is neglectful and deserving of a swift dump.
(Beware of the sudden infatuation with somebody else syndrome).
Wizard
August 20, 2005
Question: My boyfriend talked to a girl in the past, before we ever met, that he was 7 years older than. When they were talking she was in high school and he was in college. However, her parents asked him to stop talking to her. My boyfriend is completely honest about all his past relationships. However the fact that he was willing to date someone so young, weirds me out a little bit. Should I be worried? He also remains friends with a lot of the girls he use to talk to in the past.
ANSWER: It is okay to remain friends with former girlfriends, so long as it is just friendship.
If he was a senior in college, and 7 years older, she could not have been older than a 10 th grader. If he were at a lower level, her grade level was even lower. That should worry you.
You can ask him about it and see if he gives you an answer that removes your concern. But remain cautious. Maybe he was more innocent about it than you give him credit (though this should be doubted).
Wizard
August 20, 2005
Question: i really dont know if i like him anymore and i think i like my ex again who says he likes me...should i dump my boyfriend
ANSWER: Decide whether you like him anymore. You probably don’t if you are thinking that way. If so, dump him.
Wizard
August 17, 2005
Question: my boyfriend acts like nothing bothers him. We miss each other like crazy but he acts like he can wait to see me.
ANSWER: Tell him about it. If he doesn’t improve and you’re still bothered, dump him.
Wizard
August 17, 2005
Question: I have been dating this guy for about three months. He is a good person and respects my values, morals, and goals. Sometimes i feel a little pressured to have sex, but only because i don't want to make him feel bad or leave him hanging. He is unemployed and I have paid for almost everything for about the last month. Before that we both paid for our own things. I would like to figure out if there is someone better but i care for him deeply. I am scared that if we take a break he will find
someone else. I am also scared that "taking a break" may be a mistake. I often feel like the man in the relationship in some aspects and am confused about what to do. Also, i have been putting things aside that are important to me to go see him, but not because he asks me to. I do it to spend time with him in order to determine whether i want to be with him but i always come out confused and scared that breaking up would be a mistake, yet, sometimes it seems like the right thing to do. Could you plz help.
ANSWER: Here is an important lesson: Confusion about what to do is in itself a clear indication that the relationship is not for you. If he were right for you, you would not be confused.
Do not fret over whether it is a mistake to lose him. It is a bigger mistake to not lose him. Let him find someone else.
You must pay attention to subtle signs your mind gives you even though you don’t know it. Listen to yourself: “. . . yet, sometimes it seems like the right thing to do.” It is. Go find a better guy and stop worrying about him.
The Wise Old Wizard
August 16, 2005
Question: I'm in 8th grade, and my BF is in 10th. I used to like him a lot, but now i don't. We've broken up twice in the last two years, and has mostly always told me to go for whatever i wanted, and always said i was way too smart for him (i have a 4.0 GPA). But today when i told him that i wanted to go to Harvard or Yale he said i wasn't smart enough!!! Plus lately i've been thinking that i don't like him like THAT anymore. But he's my older brother’s best friend and comes to my house all the time, and is a nice kid and fun to talk to when i'm not going out with him. Should i dump him and go out w/kids my age?
ANSWER: Yes, without question. The wizard sees clearly into your future. He is not supposed to be there.
Wizard
August 14, 2005
Question: okay me and my bf live far away and we never see each other and he dont call me what should i do
ANSWER: Dump him. It’s easy – just don’t call him. Find someone else immediately.
Wizard
August 14, 2005
Question: He’s always late to come see me, missed 3 trips I took to the ER, dating 3 yrs on Halloween 2005, Unemployed since January. I've been working full time. He has a BSW from a decent collage but still lives @ his parent's house, he drives a new Mazda 3, i have little schooling, but lots of visual artistic talent, he is a guitar player, we like different music. He is very good looking, but I think I need MOre than that. He is not abusive but rather neglectful and no responses to my delicately asked for attention. I feel ready, but maybe I'll regret dumping him.
ANSWER: Most girls should have a little more than that from their boyfriends after dating for three years. That’s long enough to know if he has more than that. When you find a boyfriend with more than that, you will not regret dumping him.
Wizard
August 5, 2005
Question: Well, my boyfriend smoked pot once, and he never told me about it. should i dump him?
ANSWER: If it bothers you.
August 3, 2005
Question: i have been going out with my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years and lately he has become a pest. He has become very clingy after we had sex for the first time. I still love him but don't know if i will be able to continue loving him if he keeps irritating me and acting that way. Please help me. i don't know if i should dump him and move on or stay in the relationship.
ANSWER: “Clingy” means he wants more. Try a “hands off” policy for a while. If the clinginess wears off, you at least know its source. In any case, follow your feelings. As you know, a lasting relationship is more than physical.
Wizard
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